And so we come to Team Fortress2. If you''ve played TF2, you know that Valve has created a semi-amusing game that features different classes based on the original TF but the way that Valve set it apart from other games is the cartoonish style of play. Enter "Battlefield: Heroes" from EA Games. For those of you that are unaware, this game is a cartoon. A literal cartoon. Once again, EA lacks all originality and decides that they want in on the Valve action. So they take the Battlefield series and tack on one more version for everyone to cough up their furball.

Here''s a suggestion EA, since you can''t seem to come up with any new games, I''ll help you. Let''s try Battlefield: Civil War. When you enter the game, you start as a private entering basic training. Out comes the Drill Sergeant who sounds like the one from the movie Full Metal Jacket. He starts yelling in your face with things like "You wanna make Abraham Lincoln your biotch DON''T YOU!?!?" and "The thought of beating Ulysses S Grant into submission sexually excites you DOESN''T IT?!?!" Ok, maybe I didn''t think that idea all the way through. Either way, it has more originality than EA.

If you wanna see this mockery of a game and actually play it, the beta has been reopened for your fornication. This should be about as much fun as having a laser pointed at your cornea''s while flying a 747.

Yes, EA is not happy taking your money just one time. They want more and in a down economy, they''re looking for every reason to rob you blind. Don''t think of it as an invasion of your wallet but more like your contribution to feed the starving programmers at DICE and EA. Yes, for mere dollars a day, you too can sponsor a keyboard jockey. They''ll even send you an autographed picture of your byte banger slaving away with fly paper over his cube and pictures of his family he hasn''t seen in months. He''ll send you weekly email updates about his upcoming deadlines and how there''s only one bullet left after he''s played a few rounds of Russian roulette. If the email''s stop coming, you know he won!

Once again, I descend into the 7th circle of hell in search of the proper analogy but returning to reality, EA is planning to release their new frosted sugar-coated expansion pack in March to cheering crowds. This will include 3 new maps; Nightfire, Station, and Knee Deep. It also includes a map for the Nazi Zombie coop-mode called Verruckt (which is German for "EA knows where you keep your wallet"). Also, keep in mind that this is not to be confused with the new 1.2 patch that was released a couple days ago. The patch is designed to fix bugs and the DLC is designed to create more bugs.

I''d almost be excited except that I feel like I''m not getting a reach-around with this DLC.

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you might want to reconsider that line of work because EA has decided that if you get banned from their forums, they will ban you from ALL of the games that you''ve purchased from them. We''re not talking about just 1 game here like C&C or the ill fated Crysis. We''re talking every game that you ever purchased from EA. They are developing a new website with forums that ties your forum name to your account name. So if you get banned from the forums, you might as well bend over and kiss your virtual ass goodbye.

This was posted by one of the EA forum admins:

Your forum account will be directly tied to your Master EA Account, so if we ban you on the forums, you would be banned from the game as well since the login process is the same. And you’d actually be banned from your other EA games as well since its all tied to your account. So if you have SPORE and Red Alert 3 and you get yourself banned on our forums or in-game, well, your SPORE account would be banned to. It’s all one in the same, so I strongly [recommend] people play nice and act mature.

There are a couple ways around this though. First (and most obvious), don''t use the EA forums. If you really like posting pics of your grandma taking a gangsta beat down, find a clan like krustyoldfarts and use their forums to virtually abuse others into crying like a little girl (My uncle creepy does it all the time pretending to be a 14yr old girl). Second, purchase another copy of the game. Granted, not everyone has the spare dolares to do this but it is one way to keep playing if you find yourself on the receiving end of the ban-hammer. I''m sure that this move will fuel the fire that has been rage against the EA machine.

So EA is saying, they have your number or in this case CD key and they''re not afraid to ban it. How ya like them apples?

How many times has this happened to you? You go sailing and a sudden storm comes up to wreck your ship. So you wind up on a supposedly deserted island (after a 3 hour tour) infested with mercenaries and mutant humanoids called trigens. That was the original storyline or at least the Readers Digest version of Far Cry. You''re left to battle your way through hordes of mercenaries and evolving humanoids leaving a trail of destruction rivaled only by the American Civil War.

The new game doesn''t have any of the unicorns and free candy but it''s based completely on the reality of one man who lives in Africa and forced to battle tribal warlords. Sounds realistic, right? Yeah, that happened to me last week. So there are no mutants. No aliens. All action. You get to pull shrapnel from your body (if you get hit) and bandage wounds. It even comes with a world editor for all you world-destroyers. I''d be interested to see the multiplayer this time around since the original went over like ordering Earl Grey tea at a Biker bar.

There already seems to be a buzz within the clan about this game. A few members have already been talking about it like cookie monster with a cookie (Mmmmm, me love Far Cry2). The graphics look solid but the obvious question is whether it will be another Crysis or will it be a Half-life2? Maybe, we''ll have to do a survey when it comes out.

It''s available on Steam for pre-order and it comes with the original game if you order it now for $49.99.

I''m not saying that CW will deliver on the promise to make everyone forget about the original flaming pile of poo they called Crysis but at least they lowered our expectations a little bit and the requirements to run it. Don''t get me wrong. The graphics of the game left our collective jaw on the floor but it would be an understatement to say that the game play was a little lacking and don''t even get me started on the multiplayer. Graphics are great but without a good storyline or game play, it''s kinda like the anticipation of sex without the delivery. It holds your interest until you realize you aren''t getting any action.

We know that it''ll look good but the real question is whether it will perform on a low end system like a Powerpoint presentation and can the game play hold our interest (unlike Paris Hilton). So far, the answer seems to be yes. The game is not actually a sequel but a parallel version of the original. Instead of playing as Nomad, you get to be the hothead, Psycho, who rushes head long into danger. While this is based on the original graphics engine, it seems that they made some modifications because it actually has lower requirements to run it. It still recommends an i7 to run it (no mention of any AMD specifications; hehe). And if you sign up now, you can pre-order the game for $5 off the price; $24.95. Is it worth the price of admission and popcorn? Check out the video and screenshots for yourself.

You know I don''t think we should hang out together anymore. People are starting to talk. They''re saying "there goes Raggz and his friend, psycho....the psychopath."

Official CW Website

We wanted to let you know that we''re already hard at work on a post 1.12 update. While we can''t go into details about it, yet, rest assured that we''re checking the forums, listening to our customer support teams and working hard on the features that YOU''VE asked for. As soon as we can give more concrete details, we will. Just know that we''re all 100% into making Battlefield 2 the very best that it can be.

GameSpy Login Issues
It has been brought to our attention that some users may be experiencing login problems when trying to log into GameSpy through the BF2 in-game browser. GameSpy is in the process of hunting down the problem to get it fixed they have determined that the issue is related to web sites tracking BF2 stats, the stats tracking feed may be turned off temporarily in order to speed up this process. However, it will be turned back on after this issue has been resolved.

HOTFIX Candidate Now Being Tested!
Listen up soldiers, this update is to inform you that EA and DICE have a HOTFIX candidate for Battlefield 2 v1.01 in testing now. What does this mean? It means the fix for the memory leak found in v1.01 is being tested and will soon be available. While we''re unable to specify an exact release date, rest assured, it''s not far off and we will keep you updated through this web space.